When something bad happens to a person, usually in the cases of rape or other personal violence, I often see/hear others say “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” or, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
Does that bother anyone else? I’m not sure I can exactly articulate what it is, but that really bothers me. I just scream in my head, “No! They didn’t have to go through that! They shouldn’t have had to go through (or see) it!”
“I’m sorry that happened [to you]” seems more appropriate. Like, saying they had to go through it either feels like (depending on the particular situation) some extremely subtle victim blaming or acceptance that that’s just the way the world is.
But it shouldn’t be that way! No one should have to go through those things!